It is rare to find a book that is lyrical, sweet, powerful, and horrifying (in a good way) all at once. Hair Side, Flesh Side by Helen Marshall accomplishes this with apparent ease.
The book is a collection of shorts with no apparent thematic connection until you step back and take a long, hard look. It's like the human body. As with the body, all the parts work independently but they function better as a whole.
Hair Side, Flesh Side demonstrates what I love about single author anthologies; many different and wild ideas together but with a consistent voice behind them. Another part I love is that Marshall has a strong voice indeed.
Her stories sink their hooks into you from the very first sentence and won't let go. They are wonderfully paced and approach the lyrical nature of poetry at times. You can see the sheer joy the author takes in writing in every single word on the page.
Hair Side, Flesh Side fits nicely in the spot where literary and genre fiction meet. It wouldn't be out of place in a university-level literature course, but at the same time it can easily share shelf-space with any horror anthologies out there. This is a hard target to hit but Helen Marshall makes it look easy. I can only hope to be half as good as she is someday.
This is a book that will give you delightful nightmares. Take my word on that and go pick it up.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
The Dork Review: Zombie Vs Fairy Featuring Albinos
The stripper's back and she brought equally coked-out friends along for the ride. Really, that's the best way to describe Zombie Vs Fairy Featuring Albinos, the sequel/next in series effort from James Marshall following his stellar Ninja Vs Pirate Featuring Zombies. For some context you may want to read my review of NVPFZ here.
The puerile humor remains, along with the gore and over-the-top violence, though this book ups the gore while reducing the violence a tiny bit. That's okay though, because even with less violence it has enough to satisfy the truly demented reader.
The interesting part about ZVFFA is it's told from the viewpoint of a zombie, the hated foes of Guy Boy Man. It's an interesting flip, and allows Marshall to create an engaging character with Buck Burger, our zombie narrator. Buck is a part of the system and acutely aware of how depressed that makes him. A part of him yearns to be human again, which invites a comparison between it and Warm Bodies, but the stories are completely different. R from Warm Bodies is a young man unable to connect to the world while Buck is a middle-aged white-collar worker trying to figure out where his life went wrong.
Both have the same issue though, in that they're zombies.
Like NVPFS, ZVFFA is a book that works in layers. You can enjoy it on a purely infantile level as something an elementary school child with access to way too many horror movies wrote, or you can see the underlying complexity and sheer convention-defying balls that Marshall is truly writing with.
But don't take my word for it, go read it yourself.
The puerile humor remains, along with the gore and over-the-top violence, though this book ups the gore while reducing the violence a tiny bit. That's okay though, because even with less violence it has enough to satisfy the truly demented reader.
The interesting part about ZVFFA is it's told from the viewpoint of a zombie, the hated foes of Guy Boy Man. It's an interesting flip, and allows Marshall to create an engaging character with Buck Burger, our zombie narrator. Buck is a part of the system and acutely aware of how depressed that makes him. A part of him yearns to be human again, which invites a comparison between it and Warm Bodies, but the stories are completely different. R from Warm Bodies is a young man unable to connect to the world while Buck is a middle-aged white-collar worker trying to figure out where his life went wrong.
Both have the same issue though, in that they're zombies.
Like NVPFS, ZVFFA is a book that works in layers. You can enjoy it on a purely infantile level as something an elementary school child with access to way too many horror movies wrote, or you can see the underlying complexity and sheer convention-defying balls that Marshall is truly writing with.
But don't take my word for it, go read it yourself.
Friday, April 5, 2013
The Dork Review: Cascade Effect
It's always interesting to see traditional gender roles upset or reversed in fiction. After reading Cascade Effect I do believe we can safely say that this is Leah Petersen's wheelhouse.
Cascade Effect is the sequel to Fighting Gravity, and follows newlywed and newly-princed Jake Dawes as he navigates married life as the second-most important person in a star-spanning empire, the most important person being his husband, the Emperor.
Yes, it's one of "those books", as some people might say, a novel that dares to have gay characters without making a huge fuss about it. This is a common thread carried over from Fighting Gravity, and one that more authors should pick up.
The best way I can think to describe this book is it's a domestic sci-fi romance. There's scheming and plots galore going on in the background, along with a few digs at religious fundamentalism and some notions of class-warfare, but the core of the story is between Jake and his husband Pete, the monarchical Emperor. The story ebbs and flows around these too men and the conflicts in their relationship caused by things unsaid and the pressures of outside forces.
I do love the consistency of the characters in Cascade Effect. These are the same people we met in Fighting Gravity. Jake is still Jake; angry, headstrong, and stubborn to a fault. Half of his problems could be solved if he just learned how to bend and compromise, but if he did that then he wouldn't be Jake. He remains a man outside of everything and unsure who he can trust even as he loves deeply.
Aside from the consistency of the characters, Cascade Effect lets us see a bit more of the world Leah Petersen has constructed. I liked that this book involved itself more in the class struggle between the Empire's lowest and highest, putting Jake at the very centre of that struggle since he belongs to both groups simultaneously. It can be extremely hard to talk about class struggle and the poor without sounding too preachy, and I believe Leah manages to achieve this balance. Through the use of multiple different unclass characters she's makes them real to the reader in the same way they are real to Jake. They aren't saints but neither are they devils. They're just people.
My one criticism of the book would be that it doesn't spend enough time on the class struggle and the various plots going on around Jake while spending too much time focused on the relationships around him. At times it seems that Jake is filling the role of "woman who endures" from romantic fiction, and thereby has less agency than should be expected from a protagonist, no matter their gender.
Still, lack of agency aside, Cascade Effect is a compelling read and the credit for that lies at Leah Petersen's feet. Nothing ever feels forced or lagging, and the book moves at a brisk pace. I'm a fast reader, but even I was surprised at how quickly I made it through. The only other author in recent memory I can think to compare her to is Mary Robinette Kowal. Both have the ability to make subjects I would normally find dreadfully dull and excruciating to read entertaining instead.
If you enjoyed Fighting Gravity pick up Cascasde Effect. If you haven't read Fighting Gravity then pick up both so you're well stocked for beach-reading while on vacation. Either way, enjoy.
Cascade Effect is the sequel to Fighting Gravity, and follows newlywed and newly-princed Jake Dawes as he navigates married life as the second-most important person in a star-spanning empire, the most important person being his husband, the Emperor.
Yes, it's one of "those books", as some people might say, a novel that dares to have gay characters without making a huge fuss about it. This is a common thread carried over from Fighting Gravity, and one that more authors should pick up.
The best way I can think to describe this book is it's a domestic sci-fi romance. There's scheming and plots galore going on in the background, along with a few digs at religious fundamentalism and some notions of class-warfare, but the core of the story is between Jake and his husband Pete, the monarchical Emperor. The story ebbs and flows around these too men and the conflicts in their relationship caused by things unsaid and the pressures of outside forces.
I do love the consistency of the characters in Cascade Effect. These are the same people we met in Fighting Gravity. Jake is still Jake; angry, headstrong, and stubborn to a fault. Half of his problems could be solved if he just learned how to bend and compromise, but if he did that then he wouldn't be Jake. He remains a man outside of everything and unsure who he can trust even as he loves deeply.
Aside from the consistency of the characters, Cascade Effect lets us see a bit more of the world Leah Petersen has constructed. I liked that this book involved itself more in the class struggle between the Empire's lowest and highest, putting Jake at the very centre of that struggle since he belongs to both groups simultaneously. It can be extremely hard to talk about class struggle and the poor without sounding too preachy, and I believe Leah manages to achieve this balance. Through the use of multiple different unclass characters she's makes them real to the reader in the same way they are real to Jake. They aren't saints but neither are they devils. They're just people.
My one criticism of the book would be that it doesn't spend enough time on the class struggle and the various plots going on around Jake while spending too much time focused on the relationships around him. At times it seems that Jake is filling the role of "woman who endures" from romantic fiction, and thereby has less agency than should be expected from a protagonist, no matter their gender.
Still, lack of agency aside, Cascade Effect is a compelling read and the credit for that lies at Leah Petersen's feet. Nothing ever feels forced or lagging, and the book moves at a brisk pace. I'm a fast reader, but even I was surprised at how quickly I made it through. The only other author in recent memory I can think to compare her to is Mary Robinette Kowal. Both have the ability to make subjects I would normally find dreadfully dull and excruciating to read entertaining instead.
If you enjoyed Fighting Gravity pick up Cascasde Effect. If you haven't read Fighting Gravity then pick up both so you're well stocked for beach-reading while on vacation. Either way, enjoy.
Friday, March 15, 2013
My Ad Astra 2013 Schedule
Here's where I'll be and what I'll be doing/talking about during Ad Astra this year:
Friday:
Right to Review - 7 pm Ellsemere East - Beverly Bambury (m), Adam Shaftoe, K.W. Ramsey
Readers have more outlets than ever before to voice their opinions about books and respond to texts on book sellers’ sites such as Amazon or social networking sites like GoodReads. Yet, like so many other things on the Internet, this is open to exploitation and the dilution of dialogue. What kinds of responsibilities do site owners, authors and readers have in negotiating these new critical environments?
Yay! Panel with Bev and Adam!
Serenity: 10 years Later - 8 pm Franklin - Serenity 10 years Later David Clink (m), Fiona Patton, K.W. Ramsey
It’s been a decade since Serenity flew into the sunset. How do the series and movie hold up? Is there hope we’ll see the browncoats again on the larger or small screen? Come and celebrate 10 years of Firefly fandom.
Gassing about Firefly for an hour is guaranteed to be fun.
Saturday:
Swordplay! The Panel - 11 am Artic - K.W Ramsey and ?
Join our experts and discuss the myths and the truths about Eastern and Western Sword Play and sword-arts.
At this point I'm not sure who else will be up there with me. Chalk this one down as tentative at this point. If anything changes I'll make an announcement.
Books as Comfort Food - 1 pm - Ed Greenwood (m), adrienne everitt, Sandra Kasturi, Fiona Patton, K.W. Ramsey
Some books in our libraries just naturally soothe us. There are books we go to again and again to seek comfort and ease anxiety. Sometimes suffering a trauma will send you to a certain book- Let’s explore this phenomena and talk about what is really going on when we hide in a book.
Looks as if this one doesn't have a room assigned to it yet. No worries. It'll get figured out.
Sunday:
Writing High Fantasy - 10 am Ellsemere East - Marie Bilodeau (m), Catherine Fitzsimmons, K.W. Ramsey, Gregory A. Wilson
What makes an epic fantasy epic? What are the elements of high fantaty? With fantasy TV going mainstream is now that right time for you to focus on writing a fantasy novel? What are some should haves when writing fantasy? How about must avoid?
Okay, so this is this years "WTF how the heck did I end up on this one" panel. Last year it was a panel on book trailers. Oh well, I'm sure I'll have fun and contribute either way. Also I GET TO BE ON A PANEL WITH MARIE! Excuse me while I let out a manly squee.
Beyond Winterfell - 3 pm Beaufort East - David Clink (m), Chris Charabaruk, Sandra Kasturi, K.W. Ramsey
Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones discussion panel. Would you serve on the wall, forsaking everything? Which house do you thing deserves the iron throne. How do you feel about HBO’s treatment of the series? Did you even know about the books before? Join other fans in exploring the world of George RR Martin
Another topic that's going to be fun gassing about. Fair warning though, since this is near the end of the con I may have gone completely silly.
And that's my schedule, as it is. Keep in mind Ad Astra is still a few weeks away and anything can change at this point.
Friday:
Right to Review - 7 pm Ellsemere East - Beverly Bambury (m), Adam Shaftoe, K.W. Ramsey
Readers have more outlets than ever before to voice their opinions about books and respond to texts on book sellers’ sites such as Amazon or social networking sites like GoodReads. Yet, like so many other things on the Internet, this is open to exploitation and the dilution of dialogue. What kinds of responsibilities do site owners, authors and readers have in negotiating these new critical environments?
Yay! Panel with Bev and Adam!
Serenity: 10 years Later - 8 pm Franklin - Serenity 10 years Later David Clink (m), Fiona Patton, K.W. Ramsey
It’s been a decade since Serenity flew into the sunset. How do the series and movie hold up? Is there hope we’ll see the browncoats again on the larger or small screen? Come and celebrate 10 years of Firefly fandom.
Gassing about Firefly for an hour is guaranteed to be fun.
Saturday:
Swordplay! The Panel - 11 am Artic - K.W Ramsey and ?
Join our experts and discuss the myths and the truths about Eastern and Western Sword Play and sword-arts.
At this point I'm not sure who else will be up there with me. Chalk this one down as tentative at this point. If anything changes I'll make an announcement.
Books as Comfort Food - 1 pm - Ed Greenwood (m), adrienne everitt, Sandra Kasturi, Fiona Patton, K.W. Ramsey
Some books in our libraries just naturally soothe us. There are books we go to again and again to seek comfort and ease anxiety. Sometimes suffering a trauma will send you to a certain book- Let’s explore this phenomena and talk about what is really going on when we hide in a book.
Looks as if this one doesn't have a room assigned to it yet. No worries. It'll get figured out.
Sunday:
Writing High Fantasy - 10 am Ellsemere East - Marie Bilodeau (m), Catherine Fitzsimmons, K.W. Ramsey, Gregory A. Wilson
What makes an epic fantasy epic? What are the elements of high fantaty? With fantasy TV going mainstream is now that right time for you to focus on writing a fantasy novel? What are some should haves when writing fantasy? How about must avoid?
Okay, so this is this years "WTF how the heck did I end up on this one" panel. Last year it was a panel on book trailers. Oh well, I'm sure I'll have fun and contribute either way. Also I GET TO BE ON A PANEL WITH MARIE! Excuse me while I let out a manly squee.
Beyond Winterfell - 3 pm Beaufort East - David Clink (m), Chris Charabaruk, Sandra Kasturi, K.W. Ramsey
Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones discussion panel. Would you serve on the wall, forsaking everything? Which house do you thing deserves the iron throne. How do you feel about HBO’s treatment of the series? Did you even know about the books before? Join other fans in exploring the world of George RR Martin
Another topic that's going to be fun gassing about. Fair warning though, since this is near the end of the con I may have gone completely silly.
And that's my schedule, as it is. Keep in mind Ad Astra is still a few weeks away and anything can change at this point.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
The Dork Review: Food For The Gods
I've always thought the world needs more comedy/mystery books set in the time of mythic Greece, and Food For The Gods handily fills that need.
What's that you say? The world didn't need that? Hmm...guess we get a bonus then.
The best way to describe Food For The Gods is it's a detective story/comedy set in mythic Greece with the main character as an aspiring chef who needs to solve a horrible crime in order to put his life back on track. It has all the tropes you expect from a mystery but cunningly skewered, much like a roast lamb, and seasoned with comedy and divine appearances.
Food For The Gods is exactly the kind of book I love coming out of smaller presses. It's inventive, irreverent, and gleefully mashes genres together. It's the third book in a row I've read recently that I've really enjoyed.
What's that you say? The world didn't need that? Hmm...guess we get a bonus then.
The best way to describe Food For The Gods is it's a detective story/comedy set in mythic Greece with the main character as an aspiring chef who needs to solve a horrible crime in order to put his life back on track. It has all the tropes you expect from a mystery but cunningly skewered, much like a roast lamb, and seasoned with comedy and divine appearances.
Food For The Gods is exactly the kind of book I love coming out of smaller presses. It's inventive, irreverent, and gleefully mashes genres together. It's the third book in a row I've read recently that I've really enjoyed.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Dork Review: Shades Of Milk and Honey + Glamour In Glass
It's been awhile since I've done a review of any sort, so I thought I'd make up for that by posting a mega-double review of two books by the lovely Mary Robinette Kowal. Mrs. Kowal is the third member of the Writing Excuses team I've had the pleasure of meeting in person.
Have you ever wanted to read a Jane Austen Regency romance with magic added in? Then Shades of Milk and Honey and Glamour In Glass are for you. No, really, that is the best way to describe them. Well, to describes Shades at least. Allow me to explain.
Shades of Milk and Honey, if you drop the magic called "glamour", fits perfectly in Jane Austen's world. It can be favorably compared to Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. In fact, I would place it above the other two because I find Mrs. Kowals writing style eminently readable.
I was never a huge fan of Jane Austen or Regency romances, and therefore resisted picking up these books for a very long time. That was my own misfortune. Both Shades and Glamour move along at a quick pace, the characters are well developed and believable, and there are many hidden gems for Austen fans and history geeks alike.
As stated earlier, Shades conforms tightly to the Jane Austen style of domestic drama, but Glamour busts out of that and sees the alpha couple formed in Shades traveling to France just before some major historical events take place. Without giving too much away I'll say that the major bit of history that does take place affects the characters without being the complete focus, which is a nice piece of storytelling on Mrs. Kowal's part. It's nice sometimes to see characters affected by history without it becoming the main focus of their lives.
I'd highly recommend picking up both Shades of Milk and Honey and Glamour In Glass, especially if you're planning a trip somewhere warm and need a good beach read.
Have you ever wanted to read a Jane Austen Regency romance with magic added in? Then Shades of Milk and Honey and Glamour In Glass are for you. No, really, that is the best way to describe them. Well, to describes Shades at least. Allow me to explain.
Shades of Milk and Honey, if you drop the magic called "glamour", fits perfectly in Jane Austen's world. It can be favorably compared to Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. In fact, I would place it above the other two because I find Mrs. Kowals writing style eminently readable.
I was never a huge fan of Jane Austen or Regency romances, and therefore resisted picking up these books for a very long time. That was my own misfortune. Both Shades and Glamour move along at a quick pace, the characters are well developed and believable, and there are many hidden gems for Austen fans and history geeks alike.
As stated earlier, Shades conforms tightly to the Jane Austen style of domestic drama, but Glamour busts out of that and sees the alpha couple formed in Shades traveling to France just before some major historical events take place. Without giving too much away I'll say that the major bit of history that does take place affects the characters without being the complete focus, which is a nice piece of storytelling on Mrs. Kowal's part. It's nice sometimes to see characters affected by history without it becoming the main focus of their lives.
I'd highly recommend picking up both Shades of Milk and Honey and Glamour In Glass, especially if you're planning a trip somewhere warm and need a good beach read.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
The Marines Of Space and The Gamma Rabbit
Sergeant-Brother Atticus’ mikel-ceramite encased foot crunched a skull into powder as he and Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother Ficus of the Rampant Bloodspiller Legion stepped out of the drop-pod’s boarding tube. The pod was clamped like a lamprey to a hulking structure their cruiser’s sensor-slaves had detected emerging into normal space. The lights on the end of their holy grenadier rifles cut through the darkness, revealing a grimy metal hallway full of green plants and dripping moisture.
Atticus wiped away the sudden condensation the covered the compu-auspext screen hidden amongst the baroque decorations on his clunky and oversized power armour’s left forearm. It showed a breathable atmosphere with the Terran norm concentration of gases and no known bio-agents. A grime covered sign caught Atticus’ attention. He walked over to it.
“It’s just as I feared,” vox-cast to Ficus after he’d freed the sign it from it’s layers of dust. “The Tradem Ark.”
“But it was lost centuries ago,” Ficus said, his voice tinny and flat coming the ancient speakers in Atticus’ helmet. “How can there still be air, moisture, or even enough energy available to explain this.” He gestured at the verdant life growing all around them.
Atticus resisted the urge to shrug his oversized armoured shoulders and instead held up a finger, looked at Ficus, and said, “The ancients built many terrible and wonderful things. Then they sent them out into the universe and the spaces between dimensions. We can only guess at their motives and the terrors hidden inside.”
If he didn’t know for a fact that it was impossible for the antediluvian lenses of their power armour to move, Atticus would have sworn Ficus managed to roll his armour’s eyes. The Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother’s verbal response was the appropriate, “As the Corpse-King wills,” expected of every well-heeled warrior-priest superhuman in a Marines of Space Legion and especially of a Rampant Bloodspiller.
“Good,” Atticus said before switching to the wide-net vox-caster. “Alpha team has penetrated the structure. Confirmed this is the Tradem Ark. Priority is recovering and protecting the IP database.” The five other teams scattered across the hulk via drop-pods acknowledged. Atticus switched back to a narrow cast and said to Ficus, “Let’s move out.”
As they trudged through the narrow and weed-choked corridors, Atticus tried to rein in his imagination of what they’d find in the Tradem Ark’s IP database. It was hard. After all, the right Informatical Productionus (IP) template would equip his Legion with something unseen for millennia. It could give them the edge in a universe filled with the armies of the mutated traitor Disorder Legions, the Munching Hordes of the Tyrannasars, and the feral green Borks.
It also wouldn’t hurt the Rampant Bloodspillers’ prestige amongst the other legions of the Grand Kingdom of Humanity Resplendent, making the Drunken Wolves’ recent acquisition of a rotary plasma cannon look like yesterday’s protein gruel.
In an effort to quash his imaginings at getting one over the Drunken Wolves, Atticus focused on the proper quiet reverence for the Corspe-King a Marines of Space should maintain while remaining alert to the world around him. He was almost in the proper state of divine insanity when screams invaded his vox-caster.
“Sweet Corspe-Of-Earth and Sparkly-Throne!”
“Get it! Kill it!”
“Arrrgh! My leg!”
“Not the face! Not the face!”
Before Atticus could cut in the line went dead. “All teams report!” he called out. Three teams reported back. Atticus consulted his compu-auspext. Both of the missing teams had been in the southern section of the Ark.
“Brave Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brothers of the Rampant Bloodspillers Legion, the enemy has shown himself,” Atticus said, doing his best to make his voice sound resplendent over the tinny vox-caster. “We must not fail to meet him with our utmost hate and firepower. Go forth to the southern section of the Ark, root out the foe, and let him taste our holy grenades!”
The other teams acknowledged his command with a hearty “For the Corpse-King!”. Atticus motioned for Ficus to increase his pace and they were off running.
“Very motivational speech, Sergeant-Brother,” Ficus said on the narrow vox-cast.
“Yes, thank you, Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother,” Atticus said, unsure if Ficus’ tone was reverent or sarcastic. He hoped it was the former, but with the poor quality of his helmet’s speakers and Ficus’ flat delivery it was hard to tell. It also didn’t help that Ficus was new to Atticus’ section. The Sergeant-Brother hadn’t had the time needed to get to know him before the Ark had been discovered.
“So…do we have any idea of what we’re getting into?” Ficus asked.
“Whatever it is I’m sure six of the Corpse-King’s Marines of Space can handle it,” Atticus said.
“Oh, of course,” Ficus said. “I know there is nothing we can’t handle, but wouldn’t it help if we knew what killed four of our fellow brothers in under a minute before we go charging in guns blazing?”
“Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother Ficus, I do believe you are lacking in faith and hate. You are not showing the proper blood-thirsty attitude expected of Marines of Space!”
“My apologies, Sergeant-Brother,” Ficus said with his high-protein pancake flat delivery. “I wish merely to know what I must hate.”
“Better, Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother,” Atticus said as he nodded. “We must have faith in the Corpse-King and move forward, trusting him to show us the object of our hate.”
It was good thing that increased lung capacity was one of the first enhancements made to all Marine of Space recruits.
Atticus’ helmet’s external audio sensors picked up the sound of grenade-fire. The compu-auspext provided a vector and he and Ficus altered course. Fresh screams echoed through the vox-cast.
“Report! Who’s screaming?” Atticus broadcast. “All remaining Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brothers sound off!”
The vox-caster remained dead.
Atticus and Ficus turned a corner to find the remains of four of their fellow Brothers splattered across the floor, walls, and ceiling. Amongst the shredded piles of power armour, muscle, and tissue, sat a tiny purple bunny licking its paw clean.
“What the…how the…?” Ficus said while Atticus’ blood ran cold. “It’s a bunny.”
“That’s no bunny!” Atticus said, slowly backing away as he brought his grenaider to bear. “That is the dreaded Gamma Rabbit.”
“The what now?” Ficus said.
“Scourge of the spaceways, demon from the space between dimensions, fluffy destroyer of worlds.” He held up a hand to stop Ficus from moving forward. “Walk away slowly. We need to get back to the ship and perform the rite of Purificus Nuclearas on the Ark from a safe distance. It’s the only way to be sure.”
“So to be clear, we’re running from a fluffy bunny?” Ficus said with that damnable flat tone of his. Atticus had to resist the urge to grind his adamantium reinforced molars.
“Yes, Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother, but slowly and carefully so that we don’t provoke it.”
At that moment Ficus stepped on a bloody shard of mikel-ceramite armour and sent it skittering across the floor. It struck the Gamma Rabbit’s midsection.
The Rabbit looked up.
“Uh, Sergeant-Brother, it’s looking at me,” Ficus said with genuine emotion for the first time. “Its eyes are glowing. Why are it’s eyes glowing?”
“It was nice knowing you Ficus,” Atticus said before he turned and ran.
Atticus wiped away the sudden condensation the covered the compu-auspext screen hidden amongst the baroque decorations on his clunky and oversized power armour’s left forearm. It showed a breathable atmosphere with the Terran norm concentration of gases and no known bio-agents. A grime covered sign caught Atticus’ attention. He walked over to it.
“It’s just as I feared,” vox-cast to Ficus after he’d freed the sign it from it’s layers of dust. “The Tradem Ark.”
“But it was lost centuries ago,” Ficus said, his voice tinny and flat coming the ancient speakers in Atticus’ helmet. “How can there still be air, moisture, or even enough energy available to explain this.” He gestured at the verdant life growing all around them.
Atticus resisted the urge to shrug his oversized armoured shoulders and instead held up a finger, looked at Ficus, and said, “The ancients built many terrible and wonderful things. Then they sent them out into the universe and the spaces between dimensions. We can only guess at their motives and the terrors hidden inside.”
If he didn’t know for a fact that it was impossible for the antediluvian lenses of their power armour to move, Atticus would have sworn Ficus managed to roll his armour’s eyes. The Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother’s verbal response was the appropriate, “As the Corpse-King wills,” expected of every well-heeled warrior-priest superhuman in a Marines of Space Legion and especially of a Rampant Bloodspiller.
“Good,” Atticus said before switching to the wide-net vox-caster. “Alpha team has penetrated the structure. Confirmed this is the Tradem Ark. Priority is recovering and protecting the IP database.” The five other teams scattered across the hulk via drop-pods acknowledged. Atticus switched back to a narrow cast and said to Ficus, “Let’s move out.”
As they trudged through the narrow and weed-choked corridors, Atticus tried to rein in his imagination of what they’d find in the Tradem Ark’s IP database. It was hard. After all, the right Informatical Productionus (IP) template would equip his Legion with something unseen for millennia. It could give them the edge in a universe filled with the armies of the mutated traitor Disorder Legions, the Munching Hordes of the Tyrannasars, and the feral green Borks.
It also wouldn’t hurt the Rampant Bloodspillers’ prestige amongst the other legions of the Grand Kingdom of Humanity Resplendent, making the Drunken Wolves’ recent acquisition of a rotary plasma cannon look like yesterday’s protein gruel.
In an effort to quash his imaginings at getting one over the Drunken Wolves, Atticus focused on the proper quiet reverence for the Corspe-King a Marines of Space should maintain while remaining alert to the world around him. He was almost in the proper state of divine insanity when screams invaded his vox-caster.
“Sweet Corspe-Of-Earth and Sparkly-Throne!”
“Get it! Kill it!”
“Arrrgh! My leg!”
“Not the face! Not the face!”
Before Atticus could cut in the line went dead. “All teams report!” he called out. Three teams reported back. Atticus consulted his compu-auspext. Both of the missing teams had been in the southern section of the Ark.
“Brave Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brothers of the Rampant Bloodspillers Legion, the enemy has shown himself,” Atticus said, doing his best to make his voice sound resplendent over the tinny vox-caster. “We must not fail to meet him with our utmost hate and firepower. Go forth to the southern section of the Ark, root out the foe, and let him taste our holy grenades!”
The other teams acknowledged his command with a hearty “For the Corpse-King!”. Atticus motioned for Ficus to increase his pace and they were off running.
“Very motivational speech, Sergeant-Brother,” Ficus said on the narrow vox-cast.
“Yes, thank you, Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother,” Atticus said, unsure if Ficus’ tone was reverent or sarcastic. He hoped it was the former, but with the poor quality of his helmet’s speakers and Ficus’ flat delivery it was hard to tell. It also didn’t help that Ficus was new to Atticus’ section. The Sergeant-Brother hadn’t had the time needed to get to know him before the Ark had been discovered.
“So…do we have any idea of what we’re getting into?” Ficus asked.
“Whatever it is I’m sure six of the Corpse-King’s Marines of Space can handle it,” Atticus said.
“Oh, of course,” Ficus said. “I know there is nothing we can’t handle, but wouldn’t it help if we knew what killed four of our fellow brothers in under a minute before we go charging in guns blazing?”
“Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother Ficus, I do believe you are lacking in faith and hate. You are not showing the proper blood-thirsty attitude expected of Marines of Space!”
“My apologies, Sergeant-Brother,” Ficus said with his high-protein pancake flat delivery. “I wish merely to know what I must hate.”
“Better, Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother,” Atticus said as he nodded. “We must have faith in the Corpse-King and move forward, trusting him to show us the object of our hate.”
It was good thing that increased lung capacity was one of the first enhancements made to all Marine of Space recruits.
Atticus’ helmet’s external audio sensors picked up the sound of grenade-fire. The compu-auspext provided a vector and he and Ficus altered course. Fresh screams echoed through the vox-cast.
“Report! Who’s screaming?” Atticus broadcast. “All remaining Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brothers sound off!”
The vox-caster remained dead.
Atticus and Ficus turned a corner to find the remains of four of their fellow Brothers splattered across the floor, walls, and ceiling. Amongst the shredded piles of power armour, muscle, and tissue, sat a tiny purple bunny licking its paw clean.
“What the…how the…?” Ficus said while Atticus’ blood ran cold. “It’s a bunny.”
“That’s no bunny!” Atticus said, slowly backing away as he brought his grenaider to bear. “That is the dreaded Gamma Rabbit.”
“The what now?” Ficus said.
“Scourge of the spaceways, demon from the space between dimensions, fluffy destroyer of worlds.” He held up a hand to stop Ficus from moving forward. “Walk away slowly. We need to get back to the ship and perform the rite of Purificus Nuclearas on the Ark from a safe distance. It’s the only way to be sure.”
“So to be clear, we’re running from a fluffy bunny?” Ficus said with that damnable flat tone of his. Atticus had to resist the urge to grind his adamantium reinforced molars.
“Yes, Attendent-But-Well-Armed-Brother, but slowly and carefully so that we don’t provoke it.”
At that moment Ficus stepped on a bloody shard of mikel-ceramite armour and sent it skittering across the floor. It struck the Gamma Rabbit’s midsection.
The Rabbit looked up.
“Uh, Sergeant-Brother, it’s looking at me,” Ficus said with genuine emotion for the first time. “Its eyes are glowing. Why are it’s eyes glowing?”
“It was nice knowing you Ficus,” Atticus said before he turned and ran.
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