Mythological Tech Support 1

-Thank you for calling the Yggdrasill Support Desk. You've reached Knute. May I have your name please?
-Okay, and how do you spell that? O-D-I-N. Uh huh, and have you called before?
-Hmm… not coming up in the system, might it be under another name?
-And that's spelled W-O-T-A-N. Okay, I've found it now. How can I help.
-You're waiting for a download. Of what?
-Wisdom. I see. Let me just find the order for that. Ah here it is. It was just submitted yesterday.
-Yes sir, I understand it's important you get this, but you'll have to hang on one moment while I check the estimated delivery date.
-What's that? Oh, you're literally hanging from the the Yggdrasill by a rope around your neck. Well that is standard for these downloads sir, can't be changed.
-Yes sir, I understand you're a busy man, but it can't be helped. You'll just have to wait another…twenty days for the download.
-Sir, I'm going to have to ask you not use such language with me. I can't speed up the delivery.
-Is there a shortcut? Well, we're not supposed to say anything, but have you visited the Well of Mimir.
-Oh, you have. And it cost you an eye. I see.
-No sir, that wasn't a joke at your expense.
-Yes sir, I understand it would be quite painful to lose an eye.
-Yes sir, I sure you handled it manfully and can take pain. I brought up the Well because since you drank from it we can can escalate this request and provide quick processing. You'll have your wisdom in eight days, but there is a catch. You need to be pierced by a spear.
-Yes sir, a spear.
-No, a splinter won't suffice. It needs to have a spearhead and everything.
-I know it sounds crazy sir, but it's what the manual says and I have to go by that.
-Oh, you have a spear handy? Good. If you could just pierce yourself.
-Excellent. Thank you sir. I've escalated your request. Is there anything else we can help you with?
-Sorry sir, the download doesn't include a list of busty tavern wench jokes. Anything else?
-You have a good day as well sir.